Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Will the real Gabriel David please stand up?

I have been feeling like I am living at the end of that movie Spartacus, when every single prisoner stands up and says, "I am Spartacus!"

Gabriel likes to present me with many different versions of himself...
-sleepy, barely-able-to-be-waken-to-eat, Gabriel
-wakeful, bright-eyed, pushing up, never-sleeping Gabriel
-fussy, half-asleep, squirmy, I-make-just-enough-noise-to-keep-Mommy-awake, Gabriel
-cranky, gassy, I-might-just-poop-any-second, Gabriel
-endless-spit-up-on-clothes-and-crib-and-hair-and-Mommy-and-changing table, Gabriel

He can sleep for hours straight or he can REFUSE to sleep. Thus far, he is not a screaming baby. Let's hope that continues. But seriously, I never know what to expect! The only thing I KNOW is that he WILL eat when he starts to mouth around. It is so hard when he is cranky-- I want to reach for that pacifier so badly, but I know it is outlawed for at least one more week as an exclusive breastfeeder.

I think the point of this post is that it is hard to be a Mom. It is the best thing I have ever done, but dealing with all of Gabriel's many little versions, which are ultimately just typical moods and phases of daily baby life, is taxing on your mental, physical, and emotional being. Don't get me wrong-- I have never been happier, and I love being a Mom. I have never felt such love and purpose. Still, it is hard!

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