Monday, December 28, 2009

Let's just get down to business here, okay?

I wish you all a Merry Christmas. I will say things are beautiful for my little family, but listen, I need to get down to business here.

I need to just come out and say this, and since you have come to a Mommy Blog, you should be prepared to read this. If you are not ready to read this, leave now. Because... I just can't stop thinking about the fact that I cannot avoid this horrible thing...

and it is called snissing.

Yes, I said snissing. This is a combination of sneezing and pissing. And it is gross. And I hate it. And it has been happening since late 3rd trimester. And I thought it would stop by now. But it has not. And I am trying very hard to strengthen things to make that NOT happen. BUT I JUST KEEP DOING IT.

Seriously, I can't laugh, either. I cracked up over Christmas sitting on my parents' chair, and I was afraid I had just flat out pee'd my pants like a sleeping child who has a bladder problem. I expected to get up and look down upon a puddle, and I was ready to waddle over to my Mom and whimper, "Mommy, I pee'd my paaaaaants," with a sigh.

Luckily, I did not do any damage. THANK GOODNESS.

The only thing that saves me when I sniss-- (yes, again, I am using the word "sniss")-- is that my husband laughs when I say the word, and he takes our child into his arms at any point in time with a smile upon the use of this word, even if the said baby is drooling with chunky spit up and is screaming bloody murder. That is to say, this is a scene from our lives yesterday night...

Me: SNEEZE. SIGH. UGHHHH. Hey babe, take the baby. I just snissed.

Husband: SMIRK. Aw, sure. You go do what you need to do. SNICKER. (kiss on the cheek for me and baby.)

Thinking about this now, I realize I should call sniss like the boy who cried wolf whenever I need a shower or want a coffee break. Hell, maybe I could call him home from work sometime on this snissing issue. "Honey, I snissed. Come home so I can change my pants." That'll work, right?

My husband probably thinks I am some gross alien being when I call sniss, but because I say the word sniss, he snickers instead. It's probably a pity-smile-because-I-knocked-you-up-and-half-caused-your-body-to-start-snissing laugh, but at least it is a laugh. And I really need a laugh after the snissing happens because it is getting old, and I want it to stop.

All in all, it's ridiculous, this snissing business. When does it end????

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