Sunday, December 20, 2009

Note to self:

Do not eat chocolate chip granola bars while nursing baby.

Doing so may result in. . . chocolate chips leaving a stain on baby's skin, creating the appearance of a bruise. This mistaken contusion will freak Mommy out, making her wonder how baby got a bruise-- "baby is treated like gold; any bruise would be a result of something mysteriously medical. This must be bad." Mommy will start to breathe quickly worrying about baby's medical issue.

And then she will gently touch this bruise and realize it partly stains her hand. She will smell this stain and realize it smells particularly yummy. Further examining the situation, Mommy will see a chocolate chip plastered to baby's sleeper and breathe a sigh of release, smile, and murmur a small "Are you kidding me?" at the possibly-ruined baby garb.

Mommy FAIL.

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