Catching Up on Christmastime

I hope you had yourselves a Merry Christmas! We sure did. And somehow, I made it through the other side of Christmas without completely crashing. Oh, I got sick all right, and I got the first really gross cough I have had in years, but Santa came, my son loves his new toys, my husband and I actually have had time to spend together, and we had a lovely time with our family.

A blurry, but cute picture of Gabriel in his new Ikea chair (and wow, he loves it).
Thanks MomMom & Grandad!

So what now? Back to life. But it's starting to feel like a different life is unfolding for me lately. I think it has to do with the budding belly I have (and I might have been eating jolly the past weeks, but that bump is mostly baby, I promise).

Things just seem different to me. My purpose, I guess. I feel much more connected with being a mother than ever before. I feel like I CAN manage things. And it isn't that I didn't feel that way before-- I just think that somehow getting all our Christmas shopping done, stripping our cloth diapers of ammonia, cleaning, baking cookies, working, and being Mommy all at once made me feel good about myself. I mean, wow, I got a lot done in December.

Chocolate Crackle Cookies

Except blogging. Errr... sorry about that.

To follow, though, I want to say that I am feeling much more at peace with our decision to prepare for a natural birth. My husband bought me two books for Christmas (ones I wanted), which most natural birth Moms know (Birthing From Within and Hypnobirthing). They are excellent reads thus far, and they even came with a very sincere note from my husband that he is totally engaged in our preparation and pursuit of a natural birth. It was really touching to read his sincere commitment to something I want so badly. It made me realize this is something WE want, and I know that is going to be important.

Almost 19 Weeks along with our Gumdrop (#2)
Our "big" ultrasound is January 4th!

I guess where I am going with this is that pursuing a natural birth needing to be a team effort is much like the effort to go green. It has to be a team thing. You can't do it alone, and it's not always easy to make the choices you do. As this year closes, I realize we have so much more to do to be a greener household, but I feel exhilarated about making further changes (maybe taking on composting next Summer?!) rather than daunted because this is something we do as a family. And maybe that is what this Christmas has taught me. Making the journey of life as a family is a true gift.

I am lucky to have a beautiful, blossoming family.

(Review and Giveaway of The Best Homemade Baby Food On The Planet & a Review of Rockin Green Funk Rock coming later this week! Don't miss it!!)

My Snow Baby.

Gabe explored snowfall for the first time today. There was plenty of snow last winter, but he wasn't really able to comprehend it. This year, he is a curious little man.

Hi, snow!

Not At Peace with Separation

My son would like to be on the E*Trade commercials.

Or at least own a Blackberry.

I know my posting has really slowed down the past two months, and I am sorry for it, but things are seeming nonstop here in our little household. For one, I took on a 25 hour (4 almost full days) per week schedule to attack student loans, and second, we have a very curious toddler. I miss writing almost daily so much, but running around has really gotten in the way of it. I am going to try and pick up steam over the holidays, but we'll see! I do have a fun giveaway coming up-- a newly published book on homemade baby food. Yum!

In any case, things have really been full speed ahead. We're now 17 weeks along with our gumdrop (this is the nickname I have been calling the baby, though I don't think anyone else knows it), and I have been battling separation anxiety.

No, not my child's separation anxiety. Mine.

I feel so guilty for leaving him at childcare. And I know this is a working Mom's plight-- something that sort of will bother me in waves. But for some reason, the past few weeks have been brutal, and I am hormonal from the pregnancy anyway. I find myself crying on my way to work quite often, whether I am leaving him with my Mom on Mondays or at "school" on other days of the week.

Maybe it is that he is now so much more a little person than ever before, with clear preferences, pet peeves, varied physical abilities, and a clearly curious nature. And a strong-willed sense of self. (as in, he has a hard time listening to me say, "No.")

Either way, it has just been hard. I want so much to be with my baby, to be the one teaching him, feeding him, loving him. But at the same time I know that being a good Mommy to him right now is working. The bills can't pay themselves.

So that's where I am tonight... not really thinking about life as a green Momma, but just life as a Mom in general, wishing so badly I could spend more days like tomorrow (I don't work tomorrow!) with my son.

Little Saint Nick...

Tonight is December 5th, which in my family and many family's traditions, it is St. Nicholas Night. We, like many children in the Netherlands, Germany, and Belgium (we're not German to my knowledge, but who cares!) put our shoes out in the hallway in the hopes that St. Nick will leave us a little something. And this year, the tradition continued from my childhood to Gabriel's!

He put out his shoes in his stylish Santa in Space pajamas (compliments of his MomMom and Grandad)...



He had a nice evening looking at books and reading with his Mommy and Daddy...




And then St. Nick stopped by with exactly what every little boy and girls wants... an organic brown rice yogurt bar and banana! I smile because my little man really does find these things to be a treat.



Nom. Nom. Nom.