Tuesday, May 11, 2010

BFFP a.k.a. The Emotional Roller Coaster

That's a Big, Fat, FAKE Positive, people. This experience was my hubbadub craziness about two weeks ago.

No, my husband and I weren't trying-- I was on the mini pill, & other than my two-day spotting post beginning the mini pill in December, I have not had my period yet due to breastfeeding. Yes, that's over a year without a period (but, ya know I gave birth in there).

So when I started to feel headache-y and crampy without any return of the aforementioned period, I figured it would only be responsible to take a pregnancy test.

And it was quite the shocker to see two blue lines appear on a CVS Early Result test (the line was light, but blue-- no shadow, no evaporation line). I shook my head, squinted my eyes, widened my eyes, closed my eyes, and literally scuffled out of the bathroom with my pants around my ankles. A nervous and meek "Um? Can you...?" was all I got out of my mouth.

Of course, this sent my husband into a fit of gentle denial:
"No," (scared, disturbed face at test) "I love you," (smile, arm wrap around me) "This isn't right," (eyes widen and squint, then he smiles) "But we can do this... I hope," and he went on and on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde about the whole thing.

--Because we want two more children, but we have a six month old who is breastfed. My husband is halfway through his master's in higher ed, and once he has it, he'll be looking for career advancement that will demand time, etc. We live in a condo, not a home with a backyard.

In other words, we're headed in the right direction to have our second in the next three years, but the thought of moving again while very pregnant or with a newborn scares me. I also had preterm labor with Gabriel so we would need a game plan in case of bedrest at some point... these are things we'd like ironed out BEFORE a positive pregnancy test.

But at that moment, the test was positive, and through the sense of too-soon terror, we both had an air of joy about us. Every baby is a blessing, and that is our truth.

And because of that joy growing and creeping through the seeming madness, my husband and I found ourselves let down after two more tests reading negative and a blood serum test confirming we were indeed not expecting.

Needless to say, the talk of number two has emerged, though we will NOT be trying for awhile yet. I think my point in all of this is to say fake positive pregnancy tests do exist. A line is not a line is not a line. Now I'll get preachy: Take care and always follow up with your doctor if you think you could be pregnant.

...I hope you never have to ride the BFFP roller coaster, and I hope we never do again, either.


  1. Sounds like you had quite a time! I can't believe the test was positive when you weren't pregnant. It is very disappointing to find out you are not pregnant when you thought you were. Even if you weren't ready yet. I know the feeling.

  2. Wow! I've never heard of a fake postive...crazy!

  3. Wow, what a roller coaster for you! I think I would have lost it--in either case.

    Stopping by from SITS


  4. HOLY COW. I have to be honest...this post terrified me. I am on the mini pill, and I am so paranoid about getting pregnant while on it!! I think I would die if I had a false positive.

  5. Ah! This is a crazy post-I thought, oh goodness what if this happened to me!? I think Steve would have fainted :)

    You are an amazing mommy and the second will come at the right time. You will be able to do it whenever it happens :)

  6. Stopping by from SITS! Man, that's difficult. I just got married so I haven't experienced this yet, but it's good to read other's perspective in case I do!