Another Reason I Have Issues With Formula.

Beetles. In Baby Formula.

( I will guess you are thinking, "Are you kidding me?")

No, I'm not kidding you. Similac issued a huge voluntary recall today regarding "certain lines of powdered formula which comes in plastic tubs, or 8 oz., 12.4 oz., and 12.9 oz. cans" made in a plant out of Sturgis, Michigan because the formula was processed alla beetles. Whether or not the beetles are definitely in the formula is unclear.

And what little formula has Gabe been getting in two bottles per week while I work (because I only get enough while pumping over three shifts for one bottle)?
Similac Advanced with Iron.

And why do we use this formula?
We already had it in the house because the manufacturer sent it to us... so it was free (we just finished our first can after one month of using it, and we have another that would have lasted us until he started weaning from the bottle for that feeding). And our pedi recommends it.

Annnnnd was I planning on keeping him on this formula?
I was planning on buying some Earth's Best Organic formula if we ran out.

How do I feel right now?
Angry. Guilty. Infuriated. Frustrated. Disappointed. And a little lucky.

Why do I feel like this?
Because I have been trying to load Similac's recall website for a very long time now, and it is just plain overloaded. The page will not load. I managed to get on it for a second earlier this evening, and I was relieved to find the can we are just finishing was not recalled. But I didn't get to load the can we were planning to open tomorrow. And I tried calling their recall hotline for awhile, but gave up with the endless busy signals.

Oh, and because I could have been feeding my baby beetles, which are really great for a little baby's GI tract. Instances like this are surefire proof that eating local, whole foods you make for your baby and family are THEE way to live healthy, happy lives.

I do feel lucky, though, because Gabriel mainly breastfeeds so even if we were affected by the recall, he would not have had much exposure. Any exposure is horrible, but I am thankful that breastfeeding does limit Gabe's ability to be hit by things like beetles in the belly.

So what now?
I will be at Whole Foods at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning, praying that they did not sell out of Earth's Best formula tonight. And if all else fails, I will somehow have to work around Gabe nursing.

Here is the info site and Similac hotline to find out if your baby's formula was part of the recall (If you can get through!!):

http://similac.com/recall/

(800) 986-8850

Beating Myself Up.

Gabriel had his first ever bottle of formula today while I worked.

I know I should be proud, I know I should feel successful, I know I should feel accomplished and privileged for what I have done for my baby. It is a feat that I made it from March to August as a working, pumping Mommy without supplementing. Heck, I should still be reveling in my 210 oz. milk donation.

But just that 6 oz. bottle of formula made me feel other things: defeated, guilty, and angry.


It will amount to at max 18 oz. formula per week. Three feedings away from Mommy per week. That's three feedings he does not actually nurse from me. And those three feedings I just cannot replace by pumping.

And I'm probably, as they say, a "tool" for sitting here upset about this when my baby is headed to the 10-month-old category. In other words, I should be grateful that for almost 10 months, Gabriel only nursed or had Mommy's milk.

Nevertheless, I am feeling defeated that my body could not respond to the pump, guilty that my baby is consuming something other than liquid gold, and angry that I am not with him to prevent this from happening.

Yes, I'm angry. I'm angry that even though I planned and worked so hard for my baby to only have breast milk the entire first year, he is not only having breast milk. I'm angry because I went sleepless, I fought my baby's initial weight loss and jaundice with tenacity, I've been bitten, I've gotten milk on my clothes at work before meetings, and so on. I'm mad that despite all of these efforts and sacrifices, I did not make it to my ultimate goal.

I hate being negative, and I am truly a very thankful person, but this is where I am tonight. It's a crappy thing to post about, but it is part of my breastfeeding journey, and it warrants a voice on the blog just the same...

More from the baby news desk...

Every time I start to think facebook is pointless, someone shares something extremely interesting, and I am hooked on updates again.

Today, I was captivated by this Huffington Post article by John Robbins regarding Chinese babies growing breasts due to mistakenly high levels of estrogen in formula.

And don't point fingers at the formula-producers just yet. Supposedly, the most likely point for the hormones to have entered the picture was with the cows... as in excess estrogen via the bovine growth hormone.

I encourage you to read the article and read about other occurrences of hormones in milk and the issues involved. It left me unsettled.

But let's be proactive. Here's a relevant excerpt from the H.P. article regarding what to do about all of this:

What's a consumer to do?

If at all possible, breast-feed your babies, and support breast-feeding friendly workplaces and other environments. It's hard to overstate the health advantages of breast-feeding for both mother and baby. They are enormous, and particularly so today, when the possibility exists that commercially available infant formula could be contaminated with excess hormones.

If you are going to buy dairy products, try to get them from organic sources. Organic milk products by law can't be produced with bovine growth hormone (BGH). Or look for dairy products that specifically say they are produced without BGH (also called recombinant bovine somatotropin, or rBST). Starbucks only uses dairy products that have not been produced with the hormone. Ben & Jerry's ice cream likewise uses only milk and cream from dairy farms that have pledged not to use BGH.

If you're going to eat cheese, remember that American-made cheeses are likely to be contaminated with BGH and excess levels of IGF-1 unless they're organic or labeled BGH-free. Most cheeses that are imported from Europe are safe, though, since much of Europe has banned the hormone. (John Robbins, 2010)

Hmm... after my cheese-loving post yesterday, I'm left wondering if our VT cheese is organic and bgh-free. Time for more research!