Not At Peace with Separation

My son would like to be on the E*Trade commercials.

Or at least own a Blackberry.

I know my posting has really slowed down the past two months, and I am sorry for it, but things are seeming nonstop here in our little household. For one, I took on a 25 hour (4 almost full days) per week schedule to attack student loans, and second, we have a very curious toddler. I miss writing almost daily so much, but running around has really gotten in the way of it. I am going to try and pick up steam over the holidays, but we'll see! I do have a fun giveaway coming up-- a newly published book on homemade baby food. Yum!

In any case, things have really been full speed ahead. We're now 17 weeks along with our gumdrop (this is the nickname I have been calling the baby, though I don't think anyone else knows it), and I have been battling separation anxiety.

No, not my child's separation anxiety. Mine.

I feel so guilty for leaving him at childcare. And I know this is a working Mom's plight-- something that sort of will bother me in waves. But for some reason, the past few weeks have been brutal, and I am hormonal from the pregnancy anyway. I find myself crying on my way to work quite often, whether I am leaving him with my Mom on Mondays or at "school" on other days of the week.

Maybe it is that he is now so much more a little person than ever before, with clear preferences, pet peeves, varied physical abilities, and a clearly curious nature. And a strong-willed sense of self. (as in, he has a hard time listening to me say, "No.")

Either way, it has just been hard. I want so much to be with my baby, to be the one teaching him, feeding him, loving him. But at the same time I know that being a good Mommy to him right now is working. The bills can't pay themselves.

So that's where I am tonight... not really thinking about life as a green Momma, but just life as a Mom in general, wishing so badly I could spend more days like tomorrow (I don't work tomorrow!) with my son.

Pump 'til You Drop.

Ever feel like your life revolves around breastfeeding and pumping?

Right now, I do. As in, I'm pumping while I watch Top Chef type this.

Why? Because the little man is taking a 7-8 oz. bottle while I work, and I'm getting 4-5 oz. when I pump at work. I pump after he eats in the morning (he used to eat off one side in the morning, but now he eats off both), and I get around 2 oz. that go straight to oatmeal.

So, if you do that math, you see our freezer stash is slowly shrinking. And now I'm pumping whenever I get a chance so that we don't fall behind.

It's the first time since about 2 months in that I'm feeling pressured about my supply. I am fine when he doesn't need a bottle (in fact, no matter how much I pump, Goober can always get more himself), but oh those bottles are knocking me out. I'm trying to just take a deep breath and stay hydrated.

Come on milk, keep it pumping!

Wardrobe Malfunction.

FYI- This post may be too much information.

.....

Have you ever pumped and dripped milk in just the wrong place?

Such as smack dab in the middle of your periwinkle blue button up shirt? as in right in the middle of your chest (i.e. the spot of your shirt that makes you think I hope this shirt is big enough to stay shut when it gets close to pumping time)? on your break? right before a huge inservice meeting?

I HAVE! Today.

At least I washed a big spoon for the meeting's fruit salad before I walked back from break. Everyone thought it was water on my shirt, right?


Anyone else have some wardrobe malfunction stories? They don't have to be breastfeeding-related!




.....

(In other TMI news, Gabe hasn't pooped since Sunday night, and I'm scared of the diaper that breaks the spell.)

I Can't Believe I Didn't Already Post This.

Just sit back and relax.

First, imagine a Mom... a Mom at work in the field for the day with a coworker.
Imagine that it's now lunchtime, and the said coworker needed to stop at Dunkin Donuts.
But the Mom needed to pump.
So she headed into the DD bathroom, and luckily, there was an electrical outlet.
She gets down to business, standing there in the bathroom, balancing her pump's controls on her knee as she holds the pump to her breast.
(But oh yeah, it's lunchtime, so this Mommy still needed to eat while on her lunch break.)
So she broke out her pb&j and banana and fumbles her hands so that she looks like her arms are bent in 10 directions.
And in about 20 minutes, successfully eats lunch, pumps 5.5 oz., all while in the Dunkin Donuts bathroom.

This was my Thursday lunch break.

--

Any fun or crazy pumping experiences/locations you'd like to share?

Because Milk Donation Is No Teeny Thing: Mamatini Review & Giveaway (Closes 3/20)

EXTENDED::
CLOSES 3/30 11:59 P.M. EST
***A 200 Oz. CELEBRATION SERIES EVENT***

Nursing Moms need a drink. Lots of drinks. In fact, I cannot even count the times I’ve looked at my husband while feeding Gabriel, and without barely opening my mouth, a glass of water appeared. Water. How exciting. And let's face it, when you are pumping extra milk for your little one AND for the milk bank, sometimes all a Mommy wants is something exciting to drink.

And while that delicious Cosmo at the bar might be calling the name of most new mommies, that mixed drink is not going to do anything good for Momma or baby. What drink will? Mamatini™.

So, what is Mamatini™?

Mamatini is a pediatrician-created, organic herbal breastfeeding drink. It was designed to boost milk supply, increase nursing mother energy, decrease baby colic symptoms, and retain the nutrients breastfeeding mommies need for baby and self. Mamatini recommends pregnant and breastfeeding Mommies drink Mamatini (1-2 bottles/day) from 36 weeks gestation until baby weans. It is intended to support mothers throughout their breastfeeding experience, helping mommies breastfeed “better, easier, and for longer.”

Wow, that sounds like every nursing Mommy’s dream.

But… what is in this thing?

Lots of stuff. And by that, I mean, good-for-you stuff. Here are some specifics per serving (2 servings per bottle):

A full bottle of Mamatini has half your daily dose of Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Folic Acid and B Vitamins. Not too shabby. It also is full of Micronutrients, which purportedly "increase absorption of minerals depleted by pregnancy and nursing."

Wow, that's a lot of herbs!

(Please click on the links from kellymom for each ingredient to read more about the specifics of each herb to be sure these herbs are compatible with you and your baby.)

Fenugreek and Fennel are both galactagogues. In other words, they boost milk supply. When donating milk, you must wait 24 hour before pumping and storing after taking any dosage of Fenugreek. Another thing to consider when using Fenugreek is its ability to make one's bodily odors smell like maple syrup. For those who are pregnant, using high amounts of Fenugreek can affect your baby's urine scent upon birth, fooling doctors into thinking your little one has maple syrup urine disease. (One bottle of Mamatini contains 3 g of Fenugreek, which is a middle range daily dose of the herb.) I did not smell like maple syrup from drinking Mamatini, though the milk I pumped the next day for Gabe's bottle did smell sweeter than usual. Gabe's urine did not smell after his bottle; his stool did smell slightly sweeter than normal over the following 24 hours.

Chamomile is cited to help with relaxation. It also is considered to have anti-fungal properties. According to Mamatini, Ginger is used to relieve stomach upset and provide restful sleep for baby and mom. According to Kellymom, Spearmint is known to decrease milk supply, but it is also said that most herbal effects on breastfeeding are not well-researched. I can tell you, and as you will read, whatever amount of spearmint in Mamatini did not counteract its beneficial milk-boosting properties.

The Taste? (As you raise an eyebrow...)

This might sound odd, but Mamatini tasted like a mint tea with a standard-tomato-vegetable juice after taste, and it was enjoyable. It tasted very earthy, but not quite grassy. I will not lie to you-- my favorite drink is chocolate soy milk-- if I was picking something to drink based on taste alone, it would not be Mamatini. But considering its benefits, I would definitely not say it tasted badly. I have no reason to make myself drink this stuff because my supply has not been low, persay, and yet, I drank it without any struggle. And if you like mint tea, you will love it.

Well, A Mom Writing, what did Mamatini do for you?

If you regularly read A Mom Writing, you know that last week was not an easy one for me. I started a new job, and the first three days required me to leave my baby for most of the day (I got to nurse him over lunch hour). It was not an easy transition for me as a mother in general, but it was mostly an adventure for my breasts. I was able to pump over a 20 minute break in the morning, nurse Gabe over lunch, and then I did not get to pump or nurse him again until late in the afternoon. By the third day, I was definitely concerned for my afternoon supply.

I had my bottle o' Mamatini ready for me to drink on that third night, and I definitely saw results as soon as the next day. Whereas I normally have about 4 oz. pumped to save for the Mother's Milk Bank (I always pump immediately after feeding Gabe around 7 a.m.), I had 6 oz. I had 6 oz. the next day, too, and the day after that I had 7 oz. Sunday morning I was back to 4 oz., but I imagine that another bottle of Mamatini would have kept that milk supply up very high.

It also kept me feeling close to consistently full throughout that first day post working. I did have a lull in the afternoon-- as I expected after three days without consistent afternoon nursing-- but a nursing vacation definitely aided in that recovery.

Last week could have been a milk supply disaster, but it was not, and I think that has a lot to do with Mamatini.

The Verdict?

Mamatini is a healthy, milk-increasing, safe drink choice for breastfeeding mothers. If you have any supply issues or if you are a working Mommy, this product is a go-to for troubleshooting. And if you love mint tea, you would love this, breastfeeding or not. I definitely give Mamatini two thumbs up.

So, after reading that review, I would guess you are ready to give Mamatini a try!

Buy Mamatini!

Click here to shop. Your first order ships free with code SHIPFREE.

or

Win Mamatini on A Mom Writing!

Mamatini has generously decided to send one lucky winner an ENTIRE CASE of 12 16-Oz. BOTTLES! That's A LOT of Mamatini, ladies. And it's a giveaway for a cause-- please consider donating milk to your local milk bank.

The mandatory entry:

1. Visit http://www.hmbana.org and http://drinkmamatini.com and answer me this-- How do you think Mamatini can support milk-donating mothers?

Additional Entries

2. Visit http://www.hmbana.org and figure out which Mother's Milk bank location is closest to you. Tell me which one with their contact number in a comment. I live in NJ, but am working with Ohio! (2 additional entries-- leave 2 comments.)

3. Publicly follow my blog (right sidebar) and comment. If you already, follow, make sure to comment!

4. Follow @amomwriting, @drinkmamatini, and @givemilk on Twitter and comment for one (1) additional entry each.

5. Tweet the following (One (1) entry per tweet; you can tweet twice per day):
@amomwriting celebrating 200 oz. milk donation for hmbana.org w/ @drinkmamatini! Enter by 3/20! #bfing #bfcafe http://tinyurl.com/y9ztbwf

6. Blog about the giveaway including a link to amomwriting and comment with the permalink to your entry for two (2) extra entries, leaving two separate comments.

7. Vote for A Mom Writing on Top Mommy Blogs here and comment. (1 entry per vote, 1 vote per day)

8. Vote for A Mom Writing on Top Baby Blogs here and comment. (1 entry per vote, 1 vote per day)

Make sure to include your e-mail address in your mandatory entry (if it is not in your profile) so that I have a means of contacting you if you win! The winner will be chosen by random.org on Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 10:00 p.m. EST. I will then notify the winner by e-mail; the winner has 48 hours to respond before another winner is picked. Thank you to Mamatini for this opportunity!

Questions?
Contact me at amomwriting@gmail.com


A Mom Writing did not receive monetary compensation for this entry.

Are you for Four? (the I-am-stressed-about-going-to-work-post)

I think I am for four months, that is. Gabriel is a wonderful, reaching, pull to standing, smiling, squealing, teething, bundle of joy right now.

So much a bundle of joy that I cannot handle that I am starting a new job next week.

I LOVE being home with him. I am so attached to him. But I have to start working because I have to pay off student loans-- a lovely paycheck situation really (50% childcare, 50% loans).

I am happy with the woman we found to care for him, a mom of four with a 9-month-old at home. It's actually ideal in that he will be having social time while I am earning money. He will be staying in her home, which is seven minutes away from where I am working (so on the first few days, when I have to work long shifts, I can come on my lunch break to nurse him). And during a typical week, I will only be working 2-3 days 10-12 hours per week.

So here's the real catch, for me anyway:
The first week. I have to work three full days in a row. Out of nowhere, I am plopping my baby with someone other than me. I am heading into pumping-working-Mommy town with a big nosedive. It scares the hell out of me. How do full-time working Mommies do this without losing it? Are most Moms just more brave than me? I am taking the full-time plunge for a mere three days, but those three days are the bane of my existence right now-- I am scared, I am anxious, I am angry, I am sad, and I am crying every time I really think about walking out of my caregiver's front door and driving away. Am I nuts feeling like this? I wonder.

But I am doing this. I am doing this as bravely I can. Because I need to pay off my college loans. Because it will be good to get out of the house and do something other than snuggling, breastfeeding, not getting to cleaning, cooking, and reprimanding my cat for scratching our old dining chairs. Because it is a cool job-- coordinating volunteers for a nonprofit hospice. And because when all is said and done, this schedule is going to be great with being as close to a stay-at-home Mommy we can afford.

(And for the record, I think life at home and life at work is going to be equally as hard. No matter where I am, working or not, I cannot foresee any time to lay on my couch with a magazine and hot chocolate having every last detail of life in order anywhere in the near future.)

So, working Mommies out there, tell me, how did you handle your first week? Is it as bad as I fear it is? Will I survive? Will Gabriel forgive me? Will my home erupt in hellish craziness or will it all work out?

--
In other news, Gabe is 17 lb. 1 oz. and 26 in... in the mid 80 percentiles for both weight and height. He's a weed! Where did my little, newborn baby go?