Caution: This post requires night vision.

I finally feel it is not a jinx to let you know...


Gabriel is sleeping through the night! It has been one full month of our little one willingly being rocked and sung and lowered into his crib AWAKE between 7:30-8:30 p.m. He rolls around and just wriggles his way to sleep, usually without so much as a moan. I looked at my husband earlier this evening and said, "Can you believe it has only been about one month since Gabriel started sleeping through the night?"

We couldn't believe it. It has seemed so, so long since the little man cried for milk at 2 a.m. with an insistence to stay cuddled with us, nursing from me intermittently until morning.

And there still are random nights when he just has to nurse around 11 or so, but those nights are becoming increasingly rare, and when he is finished nursing he pushes us and rolls around as if to say, "Give me my own bed!" (And so we happily carry him back to his crib).

*Sigh* My baby boy is turning into a wee little boy; he is eleven months old today.

Just one more month of an under one-year-old...

If only he would nap willingly by the age of one (He is getting to an age where I would be fine with him not napping, but he gets so grumpy without any sleep throughout the day)!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Tonight, when my husband and I went into our nightly routine of trying to get the baby to bed by 9 (ha), Gabriel was having none of it. We don't do cry-it-out because we simply cannot handle it, but because Gabe is just about eight months old and he is starting to understand the concept of bedtime, we are starting to put him down and letting him fuss (not full out cry) 2-4 minutes before heading into his bedroom to console him. Up until last night, he never fell asleep in his crib on his own.

So this evening, when I went into calm my little one, he was on all fours, grabbing the sides of his crib and readying himself to pull up when I started to sing the only song in the rolodex that easily calms him at any time...

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star..."

And after round twenty-two of the song, lowering my voice every round as I rubbed his back, eventually hitting a round of whispering the song, Gabriel fell asleep.

How sweet it is for your little boy to fall asleep soothed by your singing. I've been writing about Goober falling asleep lately, and maybe that's because my husband and I are starting to really miss our sleep. He is not sleeping through the night, waking between 11-1 to nurse, then sometimes again at 3, and finally between 5-7 to nurse or to get up for the day. We're tired. But those little sing-song moments make it sweet.
--
P.S. It seems Gabe had roseola. He broke out in a full rash today after his 3.5 days of fever. Poor little dude. It was all over him. And he got a bad diaper rash from his diarrhea (TMI)-- he's in a disposable (gasp!) tonight so that I could slather him in rash cream and surgilube.

Finally 6 Weeks Postpartum: The Beautiful and the Not So Beautiful...

So I have made it-- 6 weeks of mommyhood. Sorry for the hiatus in writing... things have been busy in new mom life.

The baby gained 3 lb. 7 oz. from his lowest weight by one month, reaching 10 lb. 15 oz. It was AWESOME to see how successful breastfeeding is going.

Gabriel goes between sleeping like an almost-angel in the night, sleeping from 10:00 p.m. until somewhere in the 12 o'clock hour, going down again by 1:30 until somewhere in the 4:00 hour, going down again by 5:00, and then waking up again sometime after 7:00 a.m. If I was a better sleeper, this schedule would not be too bad.

However, sometimes, Gabriel likes to stay up all night as if it were the middle of day. This is fun, like a middle school sleepover stay-up-all-night-playing-mash evening, for about... 5 minutes. I'm tired. My husband is comatose once he falls asleep. Gabe is cooing and smiling with nobody to enjoy it.

And then there are the nights when Gabriel cries. He cries the cry of the gas. It makes my heart fall every time I hear that whimper grow into a baby shriek. These nights are exhausting, and the only solace I take is that Gabe is bound to fall asleep in his swing sometime after the Today show starts, and then I get to pump, chomp down some oatmeal, and fall asleep on the futon in the living room, lulled to sleep by the mechanical music of the fisher price lamb swing and the voices of Matt Lauer and Ann Curry.

What has been clearly the most rewarding moment of the past six weeks? SMILES! All the sleep deprivation, over-sized (to the point of possibly disturbing) breasts, senseless arguments with my husband resulting from our new-found responsibilities, and general dirtiness, etc. is totally worth his little lips curling like a Christmas elf's into a bright-eyed, sunny, sweet smile. Seeing him smile is heaven on earth, and possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.

What has been the worst moment? Well, we're in the middle of it right now...
Our condo flooded due to a unit above flooding. The carpet in the master bedroom, the bathroom floor, and the walls in my closet all have to be completely replaced and redone. At least we are renting and we are not financially responsible for it. But my husband had to get home from work asap yesterday to move all of our furniture and clothing and yadayadyada out of harm's way. Our condo is a disaster, and right now it is legally deemed uninhabitable. Our poor cat is stashed in my parents' upstairs bathroom right now because we can't take her to a pet hotel yet (she is 1 month overdue for her rabies vaccine)-- she is NOT dog friendly, and my parents have a dog. This is definitely not a fun situation AT ALL.

But enough complaining. It is time to focus on the beautiful... Christmas is almost here, and I have a darling, smiling, little man to share it with me and my husband.

(Stay tuned for my 6 week appointment update later this week.)

Will the real Gabriel David please stand up?

I have been feeling like I am living at the end of that movie Spartacus, when every single prisoner stands up and says, "I am Spartacus!"

Gabriel likes to present me with many different versions of himself...
-sleepy, barely-able-to-be-waken-to-eat, Gabriel
-wakeful, bright-eyed, pushing up, never-sleeping Gabriel
-fussy, half-asleep, squirmy, I-make-just-enough-noise-to-keep-Mommy-awake, Gabriel
-cranky, gassy, I-might-just-poop-any-second, Gabriel
-endless-spit-up-on-clothes-and-crib-and-hair-and-Mommy-and-changing table, Gabriel

He can sleep for hours straight or he can REFUSE to sleep. Thus far, he is not a screaming baby. Let's hope that continues. But seriously, I never know what to expect! The only thing I KNOW is that he WILL eat when he starts to mouth around. It is so hard when he is cranky-- I want to reach for that pacifier so badly, but I know it is outlawed for at least one more week as an exclusive breastfeeder.

I think the point of this post is that it is hard to be a Mom. It is the best thing I have ever done, but dealing with all of Gabriel's many little versions, which are ultimately just typical moods and phases of daily baby life, is taxing on your mental, physical, and emotional being. Don't get me wrong-- I have never been happier, and I love being a Mom. I have never felt such love and purpose. Still, it is hard!